Sat Jan 01, 2011 10:17 pm
Prologue - Haypi Competition Entry #4
This is my fourth try at the prologue. Please rate x/10 and give constructive criticism.
You had always been interested in the ocean, your father being a sailor, you working at the docks. Your father was a treasure hunter, exploring the vast oceans with his submarine and trading ship. You were always asking him to take you on one of his journeys, but he always said it was to dangerous. You longed for the day that the ships would be passed down to you. And 5 years later, it did happen, your father was now unfit for rough sailing, and he was passing the ships down to you.
Before your first voyage out into the ocean, your father told you what he had really been searching for all these years. Relics, 8 of them. They would open the path to the future. You promised him that you would find them.
I'm a little skeptic about the ending, but it was all I could think of.
You had always been interested in the ocean, your father being a sailor, you working at the docks. Your father was a treasure hunter, exploring the vast oceans with his submarine and trading ship. You were always asking him to take you on one of his journeys, but he always said it was to dangerous. You longed for the day that the ships would be passed down to you. And 5 years later, it did happen, your father was now unfit for rough sailing, and he was passing the ships down to you.
Before your first voyage out into the ocean, your father told you what he had really been searching for all these years. Relics, 8 of them. They would open the path to the future. You promised him that you would find them.
I'm a little skeptic about the ending, but it was all I could think of.