You know you're a Haypi player when...
You know you're a hard core Haypi player when...
1. You have an excel spreadsheet with tabs for calculating transports, troop builds, fight predictors, prestige needed, and you refer to the practice of using it for Haypi play as "M.I.T.'ing it."
2. When someone ticks you off in PVP you google their name on the Haypi map tab to see if you can attack them back in your home server with a bigger army.
3. You spend a half hour or more battling a player back and forth for the same oases. They take it, you take it back. They take it again, you get mad and take it back out of spite. They take it again, and you... see #2.
4. You made sure your alliance has its own website.
5. 5 p.m. isn't 5 p.m. anymore. It's time to collect the daily gift!!!
6. You know that the term "city dropping" in no way refers to fecal matter.
7. Although you've never met, you find yourself in a romantic crush for another Haypi player.
8. You spent all week making your Haypi gamer sig file so it was "super fly."
9. You can remember other players' weird and odd spelled usernames as easily as you do your own phone number. lpkojihu707bleue, I'm coming for you!!!
10. You set the iPhone timer app to let you know when your troops have been hunting exactly 10 hours.
11. You can answer every newbie question that comes up in world chat.
12. As far as Haypi experts go, you're in the top 3 on the list of the most mutes given to cussers.
13. Likewise, you're on the list of 10 most often muted players. And proud of it. For shame!
14. You're such an expert at it, that you teach other players how to "censor dodge."
15. You have 3 crop listings hidden in the market, each 449,300 units at the max price. Just in case McDonald's is closed for the holiday.
16. You're what is scoffily referred to as a "coin player." You elite snob. Hey, can you sell me a gem for cheap?! I need to level up.
17. You've perfected the art of "boosting."
18. You don't say boosting or even booster chair in world chat. You talk in advanced code, calling it "the high chair."
19. People around you in your real life are starting to react to you with, "You have too much time on your hands," or, "No wonder you haven't found a job yet."
20. You're starting to google articles on overcoming video gamer addiction.
21. When someone takes out your turrets and traps, you feel severely violated.
22. You refer to your recent weight gain as the "Haypi 10."
23. You write "use my username when you sign up" on every You Tube video any Haypi players have published.
24. You've never missed a PVP, even the month your grandmother died.
25. You only play City Story, iMobsters, and Farmville when there's nothing going on in Haypi.
26. There's a lump in the couch where you rest your arm every evening playing Haypi.
27. You've found a website URL where you can convert UMT to your timezone.
28. You're actually caught up on all your reading in the Haypi forum.
29. You've ever googled for Haypi themed wear; hats, t-shirts, bumper stickers and such.
30. You play so much Haypi you decided to hire a housekeeper. Cleanliness is next to Haypiness.
31. When you close your eyes at night, it doesn't alarm you that the Haypi screen is burned into your eyes. You start dreaming about what might be going on in one of the buildings...
32. When visiting the middle school's medieval fair, your immediate surreal thought was, "Wow! I'm TRONin'!"
33. You stop panicking over whether you remembered to lock the front door or turn off the stove before you left. Instead, it's "Oh mah gah, did I hide my troops in a hunt or not? Am I going to be coming home to thousands of carcasses?! Ahhhhhhh!!!!!"
FM

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