Sun Jan 02, 2011 4:58 am
Prologue Submission #1: The Burden
Hair blowing majestically with the whipping of the ocean wind, the woman fell to her knees. Though disbelief had reigned before, now, staring at the king's tomb, there could be no doubt that her father was dead. Her brother, the new King, stepped up to her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.
“You know what it means, don't you, sister?” he coaxed. “You remember what he told us to do.” She nodded once, curtly, because anymore movement would only cause her grief to overcome her. Struggling to compose herself, her hands pushed firmly into the ground, lifting her to her feet.
“Tomorrow,” she agreed, “Tomorrow we will tell the kingdom of his request, and of the relics.” Her brother nodded, accepting.
“With more than just our men looking, we're bound to find them,” he assured her, cordially linking her arm through his. The woman lifted her head to him then, anguished hope on her face as she pictured the man that now lay underground in front of her.
“Yes, we must,” she whispered, a single tear sliding down her pale cheek. “We must find them, brother, or all the world dies, along with its last true king.”
The two walked away from the crypt in grim silence, wind gently pursuing them, playing against the grassy hill. The sun shone down defiantly, the birds sang daringly, and the weight of the siblings' task lay heavily against them, like a burden that crushed the soul.
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I wonder if this is too long?
“You know what it means, don't you, sister?” he coaxed. “You remember what he told us to do.” She nodded once, curtly, because anymore movement would only cause her grief to overcome her. Struggling to compose herself, her hands pushed firmly into the ground, lifting her to her feet.
“Tomorrow,” she agreed, “Tomorrow we will tell the kingdom of his request, and of the relics.” Her brother nodded, accepting.
“With more than just our men looking, we're bound to find them,” he assured her, cordially linking her arm through his. The woman lifted her head to him then, anguished hope on her face as she pictured the man that now lay underground in front of her.
“Yes, we must,” she whispered, a single tear sliding down her pale cheek. “We must find them, brother, or all the world dies, along with its last true king.”
The two walked away from the crypt in grim silence, wind gently pursuing them, playing against the grassy hill. The sun shone down defiantly, the birds sang daringly, and the weight of the siblings' task lay heavily against them, like a burden that crushed the soul.
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I wonder if this is too long?
I liked it