mikecom haypi story
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on a distant beach far away there was a small sea port and it was ran by a mighty leader one day the great leader was walking across the rocky beach when the ground collapsed under his/her feet the powerful leader had fallen deep in to the earth when he/she woke they saw 8 cloaked beings surrounding a great door the door was massive in size and had one marking that resembled a key slot the 8 beings formed around the leader and said "the great door had many powers and only a true leader can open it" they told him each relic held a piece to a great key then explained that the relics had been spread across the depths of the ocean floor and each being had a relic to protect they casted mighty spells to protect the relics from unworthy men will u be worthy enough to find the mighty key that posses great power are will u fall to the wrath of the unforgiving sea now as the leader ponders what he/she must do he looks onto his small trading ship which will help him/her trade to become the richest and most powerful leader in the world and how you find untold fortune your submarine is key to finding the greatest treasures the world has ever seen dive deep into the dark ocean to find the relics the world is searching for will you be the first to complete the great adventure
Last edited by Mikecom on Fri Jan 14, 2011 11:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: mikecom haypi story
Comment Plz I need feedback 

Re: mikecom haypi story
lol funny ending and some mistakes but nice lol
Re: mikecom haypi story
if u do a continueation (u rushed the ending with the modern stuff) and get rid of mistakes then it would be a cool and funny little story
Last edited by Scapucino on Fri Jan 14, 2011 9:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: mikecom haypi story
Scapucino wrote:if u do a continueation and get rid of mistakes then it would be a cool and funny little story
Yes i will hear more please !
Re: mikecom haypi story
so u guys think i should add more
Re: mikecom haypi story
No its stupid
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